gulp again. as of today we are officially one week away from having the goldfish. unless it makes a debut before it’s scheduled date. thirty eight weeks officially of pregnancy. last night my friend aimee and i went and got pedicures and the lady who was giving me a pedicure told me that the signs in my feet said before thursday. i politely asked her to change the pattern lol i need until thursday! it is so bizarre to know that you kind of planned your kids birthday. as i’m wrapping everything up here at work and in life prepping for baby it’s been kind of wild to have your last workout before baby (tomorrow), your last day of work before maternity leave, your last doctor appointment, your last non stress test, your last visit to your favorite antique stores.. it’s funny because it’s like life will go on but it’s just closing one chapter of your life and prepping for the next.
last night i layed in bed (insomnia) and thought how this feels so much different than the week before my wedding. both baby and marrying joe have been/will be life changing events but i just didn’t think of how my life would change after marriage. i mean think about it. marriage is a huge commitment. you are committing yourself to someone forever. to work together, try and agree on things, make big decisions and be responsible to someone other than yourself. maybe i was just too young at the time to really think maturely about all that stuff (i was 22) (which feels like a million years ago) but i didn’t have this sense of “wrapping up” like i do with having baby on the way.
after pedicures joe and i walked around the farm checking on the garden, sheep etc and then we went for a night swim and just floated on the raft and talked about how we wanted to spend our last few days as just abby and joe. (if the goldfish decides to give us that much time). it’s just a weird feeling. i have these feelings of panic and some regret that i didn’t cherish just every day of the 8 years we have been married. it makes me nervous for the future how fast time goes. i’m hoping i learned a lesson in savoring moments. last night just floating in the nice cool pool watching the lightening bugs and feeling the stale hot air i just thought… life is so good. this baby is going to be an absolute blessing and i just want so badly for it to enhance what we already have.
don’t get me wrong i’m well aware there will be hard times a head, tired days, healing etc but i’m just praying for a patient and understanding heart. I’m so looking forward to these next few days with just my joey prepping to become a family of three.