When I was a child Mother’s Day was about stringing together a macaroni necklace or gluing some things to a paper with glitter at school, making a special breakfast and celebrating mom. The last 10-12 years of my life… well, it’s been complicated.
As we grow up, naturally our eyes are opened to more life experiences in the world and certain things can start to carry more depth, joy as well as complications.
The last few years Mother’s Day has carried some extra weight complicating things that should be celebrated by breakfast in bed and a macaroni necklace. In the past 10 years I have been with friends who have lost their mother’s too soon, friends who have struggled to become mothers through countless rounds of failed fertility practices, experienced miscarriage after miscarriage of their own babies. I’ve even experienced a miscarriage of my own. Experiencing any of these things is difficult enough but it seems exceptionally sharp on days where we nationally recognize a Mother’s importance.
Even with all the many blessings that I have now, It will never take away the painful memories of the child that never came to be for us. The thoughts that maybe Otto would have an older brother or sister. I remember that Mother’s Day like it was yesterday. How absolutely painful it was. And I’m writing this to say, if you are struggling today, you are not alone.
As time goes on, pain gives way to hope. There has been so many wonderful things happening. A dear friend was able to adopt a beautiful baby boy and they are celebrating their second Mother’s Day together. A friend who longed for a child celebrated her first birthday last week. All of these beautiful things are the rainbows that came after the rain. It doesn’t erase the painful past of the road that got us here, but man oh man is this part of the journey so so sweet.
This Mother’s Day is complicated in its own way isn’t it? We are not able to go and hug our mom’s in person because of this invisible enemy circulating around our communities. But hope is not lost, it will not be like this forever and we will all be reunited physically soon.
I read in a devotional this morning from Ann Voskamp which, if you are looking for something uplifting and spiritual to read, this women is an incredible writer. But it said,
“You don’t have to birth someone to birth hope into someone.”
It is my prayer this morning that if you are a mother, grandmother, the most amazing aunt or mother figure to someone that you continue to birth hope and encouragement and that you are truly fulfilled and experience peace today.