can i be really real here for a second with you? i don’t know why i’m asking that because that’s honestly all i ever am and strive to be in this little corner of the internet.
here is my truth:
i am frantically racing against time. i have two jobs, a farm, too many hobbies to count, a marriage and a son. i am trying to do everything that i love to do and still be the best mom and wife that i possibly can because that is what is most important to me. i feel like i cry on the daily not because i’m sad but because at the end of the day i sit down and i hold my baby who is too fast turning into a little boy and i wonder how these days are just flying by. when just a few short months ago i could hold him on my forearm. now this sweet boy of mind stretches to either side of my lap. it seems like time is playing a cruel trick giving me all these wonderful things but having the zip by in a blink of an eye.
the struggle? i don’t want to miss any of it.
what is this all about abby? (you might be asking)
this is about me being sick and tired of the “mommy wine culture” that is slapped our faces every time we turn on the tv, open facebook to memes and crying out loud even wear it on our t shirts.
what set me off today? i was looking for clothing for otto on etsy and the search i did produced a t shirt that says “life happens, wine helps” it had a drawing of a wine glass around it. enough. enough already!
here is why this made me so sad. life happens. and some times yea it’s reaallllllllll shitty. some days you get poop all over your dry clean only kate spade dress followed by hot breast milk barf down your bra. those? not so good days. but the idea being pushed that as a whole we need to “get through” motherhood. “get through” life. it makes me so sad.
i made a promise when otto was stuck in the hospital back in october. get my boy out of here and i will work my hardest to give him the most beautiful life. that beautiful life has nothing to do with guzzling wine in glasses the size of home depot buckets.
it would break my heart if otto ever thought that i needed a substance of any kind to “get through” his childhood.
i had a conversation with my mom about this very topic when we were in alabama. and maybe my senses are heightened to it because my mom is a recovered alcoholic. i’ve seen first hand what relying on a substance can do and how fricken hard you have to work to make things really beautiful again. (you can read more about her journey here)
it’s not a joke. it’s not a meme. it’s not a funny t-shirt. you are so much more than what this culture is putting on you.
it’s offensive that society has told us as women “grin and bear it and if you can’t drink it”.
you are so much stronger than having to get buzzed to enjoy being mom.
you are so much stronger than having to rely on a substance for sale (that people make money off of) to enjoy this life.
you have the capacity to love so hard within your own heart that shame on the person telling you that you need wine to numb yourself through it.
i’m not saying that i don’t enjoy wine. i’m a foodie. i loooooove cooking, baking and learning. i love going to wineries and talking with the growers the makers i love the science behind wine. and yes. i love drinking it. but i am someone who needs to constantly be asking my self WHY am i drinking this. and if that answer has anything to do with escaping a problem or a bad day… then it’s time to put the glass down and do something else.
so here is my challenge to you on this.
don’t waste life. don’t get through it. don’t wish it away. there are some really really hard times i know. there are days where i just want to go to bed at 7pm and have a do over. but these are the days that show what you are made of. the days that build your character. the bad days make the good days just that much sweeter. don’t try to numb yourselves to the life experiences that were brought your way for a reason. you were made for GREAT things. you can do HARD things. you can SAVOR the best things.